“Hello?”
“Hi honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No Daddy.
She’s upstairs in the bedroom
with Uncle Paul.”
After a brief pause,
Daddy says, “But honey,
you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room
with Mommy, right now.”
Brief Pause.
“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs
and knock on the bedroom door
and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car
just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later
the little girl comes back to the phone.
“I did it Daddy.”
“And what happened honey?”
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed
with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn’t moving at all!”
“Oh my God!!!
What about your Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know
that you took out the water last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says,
“Swimming pool?
Is this 486-5731?”