The Happening

The HappeningOk, I went and saw the  M. Night. S.  movie the other night: The Happening. I was on a forum where people were bashing him because this movie didn’t live up to his other movies (a.k.a. the kick ass ending). 

He’s made some good movies in the past and to be judge by those movies is kind of unfair.
Each movie is different in its own way and a director (and writer) can’t guarantee that his movies will be a hit. Just ask Tarintino about his last movie endeavor. It blew.

Anyway, I’m a big movie buff and seen all of his other movies except Lady in the Water (but I will). I didn’t rush to the movies to see this flick. I was told it was scary by some friends so I decided to see for myself.

For the first few minutes it was pretty intriguing. Then, like the SAW flicks, it got old. Don’t get me wrong, creatively coming up with way to off one’s self I guess is a daunting task. Yet…it get’s old.

So, I wasn’t a big fan of this movie. It could have been a lot better. It was more like a sci-fi original movie fodder. It was painfully slow, way to much ‘emotional’ crap between the actors, and stupid decisions like “Here watch my kid because I care more for my wife than my kid. I know my wife is old enough to take care of herself and my child isn’t yet I’m going to abandon her to your care anyway. Also, since I’m a mathematician I know that I have a %68 chance of finding her the next town if I don’t die a horrible death first.”

Well, it wasn’t quite like that but dang near close enough.

Now, if the rude old lady (Betty Buckley) was causing it… that would have been cool. There were way too many subplots and just plain weird people.

 

I am going to make a generalization here, women in general find anything scary. The women who I talked to said this movie was totally scary and they had to cover their eyes the whole time. You watch it and be the judge; I thought it was kind of soft myself.

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Animal Stutter

 A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

 

“Human beings are the only animals that stutter”, she says.

 

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered”, she

volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories

could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

 

“Well”, she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the

rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he

jumped over the fence into our yard!”

 

“That must’ve been scary”, said the teacher.

 

“It sure was”, said the little girl. “My kitty went ‘Fffff, Fffff,

Fffff’… and before he could say “Fuck,” the rottweiler ate him!”

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Premium Hands

If you’re new to the game of  Texas Hold’em there is one sure way to increase your chances of winning a pot. That is only entering a hand with a “Premium Hand”.

 What is a “Premium Hand” you might ask?

 Basically, it consists of the tops rated starting cards that has been shown to statically beat a majority of the other cards pre-flop.

 Here is the list:

A-A

K-K

Q-Q

J-J

T-T

A-K

That’s basically it in a nutshell. However, depending on whom you talk to or what you read; the above starting hands will slightly change.

In my experience, if you sit around the table and wait on one of those hands you’ll most likely never enter a pot. So, here are a few variations of the list above:

A-A

K-K

Q-Q

J-J

T-T

A-K

9-9

8-8

7-7

 

Or

 

A-A

K-K

Q-Q

J-J

T-T

A-K

A-Q

A-J

9-9

8-8

7-7

 

By limiting that hands you enter only to premium hands you will vastly increase your success as a hold’em player. This is the most basic step a beginning hold’em player can do to improve there game.

On a side note:

You can go rounds and rounds with out ever getting a starting hand. That’s just cards. Roughly 221 times (I think that’s the number) will you ever be dealt A-A. So, if you are an individual that lacks the patience to wait on decent starting hands then poker might not be for you.

However, later on I will write an article that will discuss how to expand your starting hand criteria depending on the situation you are in.

 

 

 

 

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The Incredible Hulk (2008)

The Incredible Hulk (2008)In the past two weeks I’ve seen this movie twice. Not because it’s a good movie (which it was) but because I just had the opportunity to go twice. I really like the movie. It and Ironman, so far have proved to be very good Marvel movies. The story is not related to the Hulk movie that was produced by Ang Lee. This movie story line is a variation of the T.V. version The Incredible Hulk. It even had cameos by Lou Ferrigno and Bill Bixby even though I didn’t see the cameo spot by Bill Bixby. Over all, Bruce Banner is hunted by General Ross so he can exploit the power of the Hulk. Along the way, a new threat is introduced: The Abomination. Which leads to a fantastic fight in N.Y.

 

I have to give the director credit, he was able to show so much feeling and emotion through the facial expression of Bruce Banner and the Hulk that you didn’t need sit through a dance number like in Spider Man 3 or listen to constant whining. It was well directed movie and worth the money for a ticket.

 

On a side note: if my memory serves me correctly; Betty Ross (Banner’s love and the General Ross’s daughter) was a strong willed woman in the comics. In the movie they made her sappy cry bag. However, I guess it had its place since it would piss the Hulk off enough to help her out.

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Language Conversion

WOMEN’S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

MEN’S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you.
11. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay

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