40-ish…………………………..49.
Adventurous…………………Slept with everyone.
Athletic………………………….No breasts.
Average looking………………..Moooo.
Beautiful………………………Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure…………….On medication.
Feminist…………………………..Fat.
Free spirit……………………….Junkie.
Friendship first………………….Former slut.
New-Age……………………….Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned…………………..No BJs.
Open-minded…………………..Desperate.
Outgoing………………………Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional……………………..Bitch.
Voluptuous…………………….Very Fat.
Large frame…………………….Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate……………….Stalker.

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Poker

I have played various forms of poker all my life. A few years back when Texas Hold’em was in it’s prime a few folks came to house and taught me how to play it. However, not playing for real money or really understanding the game lead me to just simply pass of the game and move on to something else.

 

Then I was invited over to a friend’s house that was having a Hold’em Tourney that had a $20 dollar buy-in and winner take all. I never played that style or even had and idea what to expect.

 

It didn’t take me long to figure out that when I had a great hand like flopping a full house (which I did) or trips that the 9 other people at the table couldn’t possible have any good cards that would keep them in. Yet, time and again when I had a strong hand (and I didn’t even know it) I’d get called to the river every time.

 

I busted out several folks and then the game turned ugly. Just by sheer observation I would fold crap hands and keep my high cards. By doing that I limited my losses but when I hit the flop I’d bet big and usually take down a pot because people were chasing straights or flushes with out knowing what the odds were. So, people started calling me a cheater and bitching about me winning. It climaxed to the point that I actually felt bad and just pushed all in on a marginal hand. I got beat and left the table.

 

I told myself I wouldn’t do that again. Then my nephew invited me over for a tourney he was hosting. I must say, it was 100% more pleasurable and a lot of fun. From that point on I was hooked.

 

I started reading articles on the internet and buying books at ½ price books. There was so much theory on a game that I though was based on nothing but luck.

 

Now, when I look back at the really first bad experience I realize a few things:

 

  1. By sheer chance I was playing tight by entering pots with a premium hands and folding trash hands. I had no clue this is what I was doing.
  2. Everyone (including myself) didn’t have a clue about how to play the game. That’s why everyone ALWAYS chased to the river.
  3. There were a lot of bad beats I was dishing out (and not on purpose) that everyone remember them. This put them on tilt and targeted me.
  4. I was completely %100 stupid for just pushing all in to get out of there.

 

Anyway, I have a new respect for the game and love playing. However, when starting out I had no clue what I needed to do, how to play certain situations, nothing. So, I’ve read, read, read.

 

I am not going to say I’m a good player because I’m not. I’m an average player who knows just a little bit more than someone who knows nothing. Yet, I will say out of the countless articles and books I’ve read, I’ve managed to pick apart basic play procedures that should help beginners out. I’ll post articles on my blog and look forward to comments and discussions about them.

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Baby

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm

together, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the

baby is  born, they rush to the hospital.

 

 A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and

 screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely.

 

 A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the two gays she

points out  the happy child as theirs.

 

“Isn’t it wonderful?” one gay says to the other. “All these

Unhappy  babies… and yet our baby is so happy. This  just proves our

love for one another.”

 

The nurse says, “Oh sure, he’s happy now. But just watch what

happens when we pull the pacifier out of his ass.”

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Sniffer

A  man is sitting next to the window in an airliner, which is about to take

off, when another man with a Labrador Retriever sits down  in the two empty

seats alongside him.

 

The Lab is situated in the middle,  and the first man is looking

quizzically at the dog when the second man  explains that they work

for the airline.

 

The dog’s handler said, “Don’t  mind Sniffer… he’s a “sniffing” dog,

The best there is; I’ll show you once  we get airborne when I put him to

work.”

 

The plane takes off and  levels out when the handler says to the first

man,  “Watch this.” He  tells the dog, “Sniffer, search.”

 

Sniffer jumps down, walks along the  aisle, and sits next to a woman

For a few seconds. He then returns to his  seat and puts one paw on the

handler’s arm. His master pats him on the head  and tells him “Gooood

boy!”

 

The handler turns to the first man and says,  “That woman is in

possession of  marijuana, so I’m making a note of this  and her seat

number for the police, who will apprehend her on  arrival.”

 

That’s unbelievable!” replies the first man.

 

Once again  the handler sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab

sniffs about, sits  down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to

its seat, and places two paws  on the handler’s arm.

 

The handler says, “That man is carrying cocaine, so  again I’m making

A note of this and the seat number.”

 

Amazing!” says  the first man.

 

A third time the handler sends Sniffer to search the  aisles. Sniffer

goes up and down the plane and after a while sits down next  to

someone. He then comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and craps all  over the

place.

 

The first man is really grossed out by this behavior from  a

Supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, “What the hell was that all 

about?”

 

The handler nervously replies, “Sniffer just found a  bomb…”

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TitanQuest (PC) – Part 1

 

Titan QuestFor years I’ve played Diablo & Diablo 2. By far the best hack and slash game around. Its 3rd person view and ever changing (random) layouts kept the game fresh and fun to play. The game play was not designed around finishing the game on different levels of difficulty. You could complete the game in normal mode but you would never find the kick ass equipment you’d fine on hard or hell mode.

 

(I’ll get the Titan Quest in just a second)

However, after spending hours creating your character and completing normal mode, you soon discovered on hard mode, your character was a pussy and you died all the time. So, now you had to think about and research how to create a character build that would last through those hard levels up to hell mode. After a while it all just got old.

 

Enter Titan Quest. Now, it’s not a Diablo replacement or Diablo killer, however, it does have its place among the hack and slash.

 

You still build character classes and you still have to manage inventory. However, Titan Quest comes with a level builder tool that allows you create your own levels and have friends or family play them. This keeps the burn out of always pressing the left mouse button to a minimum.

 

I really like Titan Quest. It’s set in the mythical age of titans and gods and where you have to make your way to stop a titan from being released. Along the way you find weapons and equipment to help you develop your character.

 

Like Diablo you get a skill tree that allows you create a class of warrior. Be it an archer, mage, fighter, they all have different names but do the same function. However, unlike Diablo; for the right about of money you can move skill points from one skill to another if you don’t like how your character is turning out.

 

This allows you some forgiveness if you pump a lot of points into a skill that turns out to suck.

 

Now, the game has the difficultly level normal, hard, and super hard (not the right names but you get my drift). And like always if you want to play the game past normal you better put some research in to building your character. I’ve made it with several builds to the super hard difficulty level but just can’t complete it.

 

The graphics are far superior to most other hack and lashers I’ve played. You can zoom way out or all the way in. However, you will tend to play all the way out since you can see monsters a long ways before they see you.

 

There is alot more I’d like to talk about. I’ll write a few more articals on this game that will deal with character builds and relics and such. Over all, the game is great and I suggest anyone should try it.

 

 

 

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